Why Me
by jenizzleoffdachain
Summary: Jennie Lucas is the sister of Kevin, Joe and Nick Lucas whose parents died and they blamed her for the parents death, in order for them to really realized they're hurting her, she gets into cutting herself, anything to get her brothers attention
1. Chapter 1

No one came right out and said it and that bothered me more that it should have. No one came straight out and told me "Jennie, they're dead." No; I only got the crap filled lies about how they 'felt my pain' or how 'sorry' they were. But they didn't feel my pain. They didn't know what it was like to lose two parents on the same day, same time. They didn't know what it was like to now have the title of 'orphan.' And what were they sorry for? Sorry they died? Well I am sorry too but no one seems to give a crap about the little sister. Not even my brothers. They were too caught up in their own broken hearts and heads to notice their10 year old sister standing next in front of the two mahogany caskets with gold latches. They didn't notice how tears spilled down my burning cheeks or how I was barely managing to breathe from this sadness that was suffocating me. They didn't notice how I needed a hug.

They just didn't notice me.

I starred through the tear induced haze, looking down at my mom's perfect face. Death hadn't touched her beauty. Her dark hair still shone as it did when its host was alive and her face was set into a kind expression; one void of a smile. If not for the ceased beating of her heart, she could have been sleeping. In fact, I expected her to be. I expected her to open her eyes and smile at me and reach over to hold me and wipe away my tears. But never again would she. She was dead. She left me.

I looked to my father and bit my lip harder than I ever have before. He was the only one who noticed. The only one who cared enough to see and now he was gone. Death had taken him. The scars adorning his face were proof enough for that. They told me that he shielded mom from the blow in hopes she would live but it was all in vain. They both still left the world of the living. They both still left me.

Lifting a shaking hand I wiped away my tears, not caring for the dark stains on my black dress. My hand curled around the last thing my mother gave me: a locket. One window held a picture of me and her and the other of the whole family. A picture reminding me of a time when everything was better, when the Jonas family was untouched by the title of 'orphan' and untouched by this sorrow.

I managed to tear my gaze away from the inhabitants in the wooden cases and looked to my brothers who were all sitting in the first pew, attempting to comfort one another as others gave them pity-filled looks or patted them on the shoulder. I should be sitting with them, crying with them, but it didn't feel right to leave our parents yet. I had to memorize their faces-this was the last time I would ever see the again. I starred for a moment at Nick, who was trying to hide his tears with a bowed head but everyone saw the way his shoulders shook and how rain fell onto his tuxedo pants. Joe sat on his right side, head on Nick's shoulder and freely crying. His eyes met mine briefly but he looked away pained when he saw Mom's eyes on my face. I couldn't blame him; I could barely look in my mirror this morning. I was Denise Jonas's exact replica with my father's nose. It hurt to look at me because we would always be reminded of what we lost. Kevin had his arms around both of his brothers as he sat on Nick's other side. His chin was on top of Nick's curls and I saw him whispering comforting and unheard words. But it was hard to comfort when your own heart was shattered beyond repair.

I couldn't bring myself to look back at my parents and I knew me being in my brother's presence would only pain them more so I left. I walked through the back doors of the majestic church and let the cold air wash over me. This cold mimicked the temperature of my heart. It felt good-better than the undying chill of death inside. I walked out in the lawn, avoiding the cemetery completely in knowledge that within the hour, my parents would call that place home.

I looked back, wondering if anyone saw my leaving but no one bothered to follow the distraught ten year old. They just didn't bother to notice.

I was alone.

I was hurt.

I was an orphan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I didn't do this in the first chapter but a shoutout to chibiyugixyami for helping me with this story =].**

**Chapter 2**

** During the night, Jennie Lucas woke up screaming and crying from her nightmare which she had about her mom and dad dying in the car accident, they were just coming home from her brother's concert, Denise Lucas was wearing her red dress that fits her figure and long black hair reaching her shoulders which Jennie has and her dad Tom Lucas has brown short hair driving home when all of a sudden a car on the other side drove straight into them causing them to protect Jennie from the crash, killing them instantly, seeing their faces staring into her eyes, she woke up screaming knowing she will be alone for a long time since no one not even her brothers won't give her a glance in her direction. "I know one day they will regret not listening to me" she mumured to herself clearly thinking about what she should do so she went into her own bathroom and grabbed the razor and looked to the sky, "I'm sorry mom and dad I can't do this anymore" she started to cut her arm deeply, watching the blood running down her arm sents shivers going down her back, because the pain she held in since the car accident helped her feel better. Kevin, Joe, and Nick was in the kitchen eating their breakfast silently, "I wonder where our sister Jennie is at?" asked Nick breaking the silence between them, Joe looked up with a mixed emotion of anger and sadness before shrugging his shoulders in a way to show that he didn't care "I don't care either she's upstairs or out I just don't want to see her." he muttered darkly still bitter about her being alive while their parents are still dead. Nick growled hearing Joe's tone and got up "Dude even if mom and dad was still alive you'd be a lot nicer to Jen I know she was in the accident but they protected her from death because she is younger and it was their time even if it was too soon but Joe honestly shutting her out isn't worth your time." he stormed upstairs and slammed the door, making Kevin jumped at the noise and looked to Joe "I agree with Nick what our parents did wasn't wrong they were protecting her now please be nice to her or I'm kicking you out" he growled before storming to his room that he shared with Joe. Jennie was downstairs holding her arm where she cut watching the scene with tears in her eyes, she realized Joe blamed her for the death of their parents, the death that she will never erased from her minds because what Joe said was true.**


	3. Chapter 3

Joe woke up the next morning still feeling upset about their parents' death, he knew that Jen was the reason they

died and not her, he didn't want nothing to do with her. He got up and got dressed after he took a shower and

went down to the kitchen to see Nick, Kevin, and Jen sitting at the table eating silently. He gave Jen a sneer as he

sat down to eat his cereal, "why are you still here Jen?" he spat as he finished his breakfast before getting up.

Jen looked up hearing Joe, but didn't answer due to the fear of getting hurt, she hurriedly ate her breakfast and

ran out the door to school, since Kevin forced her to go to public school, because he didn't want her around when

Nick was homeschooled. She thought to herself as she ran, "why do they hate me? Mommy only protected me from

the accident to keep me alive," she had fresh tears rolling down her cheeks as she took out her secret weapon, her

razor, she pressed it against her arm a little hard and cut atleast three times, wincing at the pain yet she sighed in

relief as she felt the weight lifted off her shoulders. She reached the school doors quickly putting the razor back in

her backpack so she could used it again in the bathroom for when she needed a break.

Her classmates stared at her with sympathy eyes and some encouraging words were said to help Jen feel better,

but it didn't because the only words she could hear was that it was her fault, and that she deserved to die instead

of her parents. She quickly gulped back down the tears as she lowered her head to go into the girl's bathroom as

her friends she used to know walked away from her. Jen looked up into the mirror and took one look at herself,

feeling insecure about her looks, she took out her razor and started cutting her left arm, leaving three quick cuts,

letting it bleed as she went to work on her right arm. Hearing the bell rang, she decided to run away from school to

go back home, because she feels unwanted, lonely and scared.

Nick was doing his homework when he saw Jen walking through the front doors, he narrowed his eyes a little

seeing her walking towards the kitchen, "What do you think you're home from school for?" he snarled darkly as he

worked on his math. Jen shrank back a little hearing her own brother snarling at her, she replied with a sad sigh,

"can't do it anymore, no one cares maybe I should go die and just leave you three" she said the last part in a

whisper in which Nick looked up, 'what the fuck did she said' he thought to himself before shrugging his shoulders, "I

don't give a fuck about that just go up before Kevin noticed that your ass is home, worthless piece of shit." He spat

as he dismissed her to her room.

Jen nodded quickly as silent tears rolled down her cheeks, hurting from Nick's words, how could her own brother

more of her hero said that to her? What did she do to deserve those words, oh right I killed my own parents, she

thought to herself silently as she worked on her homework silently, she decided to skip math and went for her razor,

her new best friend, "hello Razor meet my arm again" she silently whispered as she slowly cut her arm three more

times, the last one being a little hard since she jumped hearing a door slam, which caused her to cut a little deeper

than necessary, "Fuck!" she hissed in pain before wrapping her arm in a red towel to stop the bleeding while she

cleaned off her razor and stored it in her bra dresser, knowing her brothers won't touch it there.


	4. Chapter 4

Kevin Lucas walked through the door letting it slammed after hearing news that his sister left the school without warning and looked over to Nick and Joe, with an eyebrow raised he asked, "is Jen home? The school called and I'm pissed." he slightly growled as he felt his temper rising by the second. Nick had a slight smirk playing on his lips and pointed to the stairs, "upstairs doing her homework." he let out a silent giggle as he felt accomplished telling on his little sister. Kevin nodded, being graceful with Nick being truthful towards him and rushed up the stairs with his hands balled into fists as he neared her bedroom door, he banged loudly on it, not caring what she was doing and barged in.

Jen hearing Nick had ratted out on her to Kevin scrambled to hide as she felt scared knowing Kevin will yell at her to make her feel more worthless, more scared of her brothers than loving them, when she heard Kevin barging in her room. she winced and looked up with fear in her eyes, "H-H-H-Hi K-Kevin," she stammered as she struggled to say some words. Kevin looked down at her and glares, "Why did you skip school you ungrateful brat?!" he screeched at her feeling angrier by the minute, when Jen didn't answer he grabbed her by the arm and flipped her over, starting to spank her with the belt he had in his hands, "stupid, pathetic, worthless piece of shit," he cursed whenever he landed the belt on her butt.

Jen howled in pain as she struggled to cover up her butt, "I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-so-sorry" she blubbered and screeched whenever the belt landed hard on her butt. When she had enough she decided to bite Kevin's hand which sent her flying down onto the ground with a harsh thud as Kevin stood up. "This better be the last time this school of yours called me! DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING I HEARD ABOUT THIS ON MY DATE WITH DANI?! HUH?!" with a swift turn of his heel, he left her room leaving her sobbing and sniffling.

Joe and Nick was in the kitchen eating when they heard Jen's howling, Kevin's screaming along with the harsh smacks of belt against skin, they both winced as they remember their dad doing it for their punishment. Kevin walked down the stairs calming down and looked at his younger brothers with a fake grin, "guys you are not to bother Jen for she is doing her homework." he mumbled before fixing their dinner, not letting Jen know that dinner was ready for she was punished.

Jen's stomach growled in impatient as she worked on her homework, with a grunt of frustration, she got up and went over to her drawer where the razor laid, she picked up and puts the razor to her arm, her hand slid the blade about four times each on her arm, as she began working on getting some cuts in before she went downstairs. With a sigh of pure relief of the pain throbbing in her arm, she went down and grabbed a few pieces of chicken and a diet coke. Nick noticed that one of his cans was missing and is in Jen's hand, with a growl of anger, he slapped it out of her hand and sneers, "DO NOT TOUCH MY CANS YOU PATHETIC RUNT!" He panted after a few moments before picking it up and set it back in the fridge, before heading back to his room to work on his music mumbling to himself on how stupid and pathetic she was.


End file.
